Today I was reminded of you.
Cleaning out my phone led to our past conversations. Those conversations seem so old now, from so long ago. Going through those messages made me sad but more than that, they made me angry. Angry at you.
You had left me once before. That hurt. I thought we were close yet you disappeared on me. Years later we reconnected. I was cautious. I was nervous. But I gave in and let you back in. We talked all day, every day. We motivated each other. We were there for one another.
When everything came tumbling down on me last year, you were there. You made yourself available to me 24/7. You made sure I never felt alone. You got me through what I would consider the toughest period of my life. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.
But this didn’t last.
You and I started communicating less and less. Still I thought we were okay. Life was just busier now. Later came the quiet distancing. You stopped confiding in me and at some point I stopped confiding in you too. Before I know it, you had vanished. Never heard a goodbye because you never offered me one. No explanation. No resolution. Nothing.
At this point in my life all I want from you now is to know you are okay. Healthy and alive. Honestly that’s all. Whatever the reason was for disappearing with no warning, it doesn’t matter anymore.
You were one of my closest friends. My confidant. Losing you will probably always hurt. I’ll live with that.
I just want to know that wherever you are, you are okay.